You decide

[checkers65477]

The book was brought to my attention by a young teacher who told me he'd had to read it in his kiddie lit class.  The class had decided it was the Worst Book Ever. 

Well, of course I just had to read it.

This is the first paragraph:

I am in love with Mr. Lindstrom, my science teacher.  I found out where he lives and every night I perch on a tree branch outside his bedroom and watch him sleep.  He sleeps in his underwear: Fruit of the Loom, size 34.

Ick.  Ick, ick, ick.

She changes into an owl every night.  Her parents are witches.  She is a misfit at her high school, if you can imagine that.  I began reading it during silent sustained reading and could hardly contain myself when I got to this part, on page 20, where Owl tells her parents she's in love with her teacher, who doesn't return her affections.  I'm sure the students thought I was having a coughing fit/stroke.  (This really works better if you read it aloud.  Please read it aloud!)

Before I could reassure him, my father continued, his steel-wool eyebrows bunching fiercely over his nose, "A man so thickheaded, so boorish, as not to appreciate your fine qualities?  What sort of a man is that, after all?  The swine," he growled, warming to his theme.  "He ought not to be allowed to teach sensitive young girls.  Trifling with their hearts in this callous way!  Why, the man ought to be dismissed from his job at the high school!"

"Daddy!" I cried, horrified.  "How dare you say these things about the man I love with all my heart and soul!  Remember who I am.  I am Owl; it is in my nature to give my love once and only once in a lifetime.  I shall love him until I die, or he does."

My father folded his arms across his chest and frowned down at me.  "The last part could be arranged," he said darkly.

"Fritz!" shrieked my mother in protest.

I did not speak; I merely looked at him.

He groaned, and passed a hand over his face.  "Baby, I'm sorry.  I know what you say is true.  But when I think of that man, having the gall to treat you so!  How could it not make a father's blood boil?"

My mother put an arm around my shoulder.  "Hush, Fritz!  You should be ashamed to speak of our future son-in-law so."  She whispered in my ear, "He's just jealous, Owl.  Fathers are always like that when they have to give up their baby girl.  Now come into the kitchen and tell me all about him.  I want to know every single detail."

So I told her every single detail.  I told her about his hair, his smile, the way he walks, the nick in his chin he gave himself shaving this morning.  I reported on his jokes, his taste in sweaters, the long hairs in his nose, what he said today about the international situation, how his left shoe has a small hole starting right up near the big toe---everything.

ICK.  ICK, ICK, ICK.

There are so many things wrong with this that I'm not sure where to start.

Number of exclamation marks in that little snippet: 7.

I'm about halfway through now, and it's grown on me a little.  I sort of like Owl.  I have to see what happens.  Who is the mysterious boy lying in the snow, dying?  Will Mr. Lindstrom ever get a new pair of shoes?

Is it too charitable to think that maybe it's just a little dated?  It was published in 1993 and got pretty good reviews.  It was an ALA Notable, for heaven's sake.

Owl In Love.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Comments

[fabricalchemist.livejournal.com]

I am suffering through it along with you.

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

I read yours and Av's comments in Chatzy. XD

[willow-41z.livejournal.com]

That sounds strangely brilliant. Can you think how much fun it had to have been to [i]write[/i]? The subject matter is so out there that all sense of constraint would have been gone.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

Ah-hahahaha. I read it out loud, much to my roommate's disapproval. (Quoth the roommate: "...why?")

Wow. That is pretty painful. and SPEESHUL. In a bad way.

*is too busy laughing at you to feel sorry for you*

[philia-fan.livejournal.com]

Wildcat would argue that the worst book ever is a perfectly dreadful thing we got out of the library, attracted by the fun title, "Ghost Cats." Turned out to be about a really unpleasant, depressed boy whose pets all died. There were no ghost cats hanging around saying funny things as one might have hoped. It was all extremely grim. We cannot understand why books like this are published while Certain Writers remain neglected, ahem.
I think I heard someone else recently spout off about Owl -- some kidlit blog, maybe? Can't remember.

[emerald-happy.livejournal.com]

that's so sad.

[emerald-happy.livejournal.com]

LOL. It's really....ICK...and not cracky enough to have novelty doomfic insanity disguised as prose...stuff.

we can't agree all the time

[(Anonymous)]

You are wrong, I tell you, wrong. How can you perpetrate so dastardly a misread on this gem, this jewel, this work of Art with, yes, a capital A? I think perhaps you have failed to appreciate the deliberate act of melodrama perpetrated by the masterly prose composer at work here. As Bear would say (and thank you, Bear, by the way, for the additions to my vocabulary), This book is made of teh awesome. It's like Vampire Girl at Sweet Valley High. Oh. My. God. Have you gotten to the point where she visits her the home of her new little friend and can't keep her eyes off the pet hamster?

I love this book. I believe you have missed the point. By light years.

Megan

Re: we can't agree all the time

[peggy-2.livejournal.com]

Shouldn't it be "Art, with a capital A, in bold?

This is Truly An Amazing Piece of Literature.

Wait .... is it possibly illustrated?

Re: we can't agree all the time

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

I'll admit that I can't always tell when you're joking.

If I missed the point it was because I was so squicked by the 14 year old stalking her 40 year old teacher and watching him sleep in his whitey tighties. Maybe this bothered me because I'm a teacher? Having a crush on, well ok, but looking in his windows all night long? Eww.

The beginning had all the melodrama, then it sort of went away and the writing seemed pretty normal. After the Mysterious Stranger came, the ending wrapped all its ends tightly in Numerous Convenient Coincidences. Really, I thought it was a train wreck of bad writing and bad plot.

There were things I liked about it. I liked Owl. She was cool. I liked the friend with the hamster. Other than that, there were lots of things that just didn't work for me. Definitely "failed to appreciate."

Re: we can't agree all the time

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it takes me awhile. Nice parody.

[peggy-2.livejournal.com]

Now I want to know what happens to the hamster. And if the dreamboat teacher gets new shoes before the end of the book.

Thanks a lot, Super Check, for taunting us like this!

*goes to reserve from the library*

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

The shoes do get mentioned again...

"I saw how you looked at the hamster, Owl."

all about the weird

[(Anonymous)]

I understand entirely why you might not like the book, especially if you start it with a negative rec. But I liked it. I liked the fact that Owl really was weird. I thought it was poking fun at all those books about "the weird kid" at school, who isn't actually weird, he's really quite cool and we, the reader, love him because really, he's us, everyone who ever felt that his inherent coolness was undervalued by his peers. No, in this story, Owl really is "Different." She eats mice. Her kind meet the love of their lives and bond for life, and yet, she's just human enough, to be a victim of a school girl crush. It was (forgive me for this) a hoot.

On the other hand, someone recced a werewolf movie to me,Ginger Snaps. While I could see that it was supposed to be gruesome and funny, I just couldn't make it work for me. Not everything works for everybody. (see Yoon Lee's review of The Thief.)

Megan

Re: all about the weird

[aged-crone.livejournal.com]

"It was (forgive me for this) a hoot."

I'm not sure if I can do that.

Re: all about the weird

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

You're just jealous because you didn't say it first.

Re: all about the weird

[emerald-happy.livejournal.com]

LOL

[aged-crone.livejournal.com]

I've never read this book, and having read this snippet don't plan to. I can't help wondering, though, whether the author is merely being heavy-handedly tongue-in-cheek. (Excuse me while I don my Queen of the Mixed Metaphors crown...). I can only hope that's the case. Because if that passage is the author's and publisher's idea of really good writing, I fear for the fate of civilization. It reminds me of when we are being silly and overdramatic in Chatzy; but, for pity's sake, nobody's *publishing* our Chatzy lunacy! (Oh, mercy, *tell* me that nobody's publishing it! If they are, I'll have to leave the country! Oh, wait, I'm already not in the country. I'll have to leave the planet!)

Quite apart from the ewwwwwwwwww factor of the spying-on-teacher aspect, the passage is just painfully arch. Like a Barbara Cartland book (I started one, once; I don't recall being able to finish it).

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

I can't help wondering, though, whether the author is merely being heavy-handedly tongue-in-cheek.

If so (and Megan's not the only one who would say I've missed the point--I've been reading online reviews) it was so subtle that it went way over my head. But it's strange, the online reviews don't talk about the melodramatic style or the plot holes. They just review it like it's a normal book.

I hear that Mars can be nice at times (though I'm just going by what Ray Bradbury has said). If chatzy is ever published, we can ride together.

[emmaco.livejournal.com]

Thank you for a good laugh session here. It sounds UNBELIEVABLE read aloud! I even found myself putting all the different voices on.

[checkers65477.livejournal.com]

:D I read it aloud at work. It was quite a hit.